TURNING TOWARD G-D, SOME IDEAS ABOUT
TESHUVA
by
Teshuva is the Hebrew word for repentance.
But repentance is not Teshuva’s full meaning. Derived from the verb
‘return’ it can mean "going back to one’s point of origin,"
"turning unto oneself" or "returning to the straight path."
Another meaning is ‘to reply to a call that comes from without." The Halahic
concept of Teshuva embraces all of these ideas: by turning unto
himself, through introspecting about his transgressions, a Jew re-turns his life
toward G-d, (our point of origin), a change affected through his return to
Halacha (literally, the pathway). In this way, one responds to the question G-d
confronts us with throughout the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays): Ayeka?
(Where are you?).
No question
could be weightier. G-d needs us to be present for him. Torah and
Mitzvot, were bestowed on Am Israel, notes Rav Kook, to draw us
nearer to G-d so we could become conduits of his will and
together participate in a global Teshuva process, culminating
in the Mashiah. Whenever one acts with his Kavana (intent)
directed toward G-d, their covanental relationship strengthens. Whenever
one transgresses Halacha, he
distances himself from the source of his being. It is this distancing of the
self from G-d which Rabbi Adin Steinzaltz identifies as the essence of Avera
(sin).
Responding Hineni!
(I’m here G-d!), is always possible because Teshuva is always a
Jew’s potential. True, factors like a person’s heredity and socialization may
negatively influence his behaviour, but a wholehearted will to Teshuva,
says Rav Kook, will, ultimately, empower a person to transcend the
confines of his personality. Its nature-surpassing character point’s to Teshuva’s
existence as a separate reality, created even before the world itself. Here
principles that normally regulate life, such as causality, are inoperative.
Through sincere repentance the negative effects of one's
transgressions can be escaped and "intentional sins (can
be) transformed into meritorious deeds."
Rabbi Resh
Lakish, the teacher of the second concept, understood it from firsthand
experience. Prior to his Teshuva, Lakish had been a professional gladiator. In
the arena, his aggressive drive was daily directed toward killing or
maiming adversaries. Post-Teshuva, he directed the same drive toward the study
of Torah, ultimately becoming a leading sage of the Tannaitic era. That
the basest part of Lakish’s nature could becomes the holiest, speaks to
Judaism’s understanding of transgressions as being, in esscence, what
Rabbi Soloveitchik calls, "spiritual springboards for inspiration and
evaluation." Teshuva’s aim is the redirection of a person, not his
recreation and "the overcoming of the past by the future,"
not the past's erasure.
Vidduy (public, verbal confession) is the
first step. This ruling, found in Maimonides’ Mishnah Torah, is derived partly
from a statement of the Prophet Hosea: "Take words and return to your
G-d." Within the Mussar movement (devoted toJewish ethics) Vidduy
become an essential exercise.. Every Rosh Hodesh (new month), each
Mussarist would create an inventory, noting his every remembered sin, no matter
how seemingly unimportant. This document would then be recited in the presence
of the Mussarist's Rabbi or peers. Since everyone, no matter how
righteous, commits a multitude of sins annually, this exercise, would serve to
remind each Mussarist of the need for upmost Kavanah in his every action.
It would demonstrate also, that authentic Teshuva is an unending,
lifelong quest.
For Maimonides,
a person’s Teshuva is consummated by his deeds. Having sought and received
forgiveness from G-d or man, as needed, a penitent’s final challenge is to
endure a situation where he faces a temptation to recommit a former sin
but, this time, avoids succumbing to it. Through the experience of this
triumph, says Rabbi Bunam of Pzsyah, G-d informs a person that his sin has
been pardoned.
Once a
person has experienced sufficient anxiety over his transgressions
to do Teshuva, he need not continue feeling dejected. Better, says
the Talmud, to be motivated in Teshuva by a love of G-d than by a fear of
his judgement. Just as a once disobedient son is unafraid to return to his
father, the Talmud continues, so too should Am Israel be unafraid of returning
to our "father in heaven," who love is likewise unconditional. Though
we may choose to turn away from him, writes Rav Kook, he yet remains close at
hand, waiting patiently for us to re-turn toward him, desiring not retribution
but renewal. "My children, says G-d, what is it that I demand of you: Seek
me and live! (Amos 5:4)